hello | The Official Ozzy Osbourne Site


this is nuts...if anyone on agt brought a tear to your eye...then nod...if they didn't you aren't human and its time for you to leave our planet...brb, i got to roll cigarette...not a joint, a cigarette

you can tell i am bored, mr editor...and if you are reading this, i'm not the only one bored...

i always thought chip and dale were cartoons or guys in underwear...believe me they are real chipmunks living in my kitchen...i put some peanut butter on the mousetrap, and they set it off, then eat the peanut butter while they look at me...then i set the live trap, and they walk in and walk out...its not funny...they are almost as bad as roosters...they wake me up if i oversleep on purpose..i could poison them but its not my way....i have a rule for all the animals around here...stay out of my food and don't s*** in my house...they seem to understand that....even the bigger animals understand that...they know i will shoot them..yes i am he that talks to trees, and they listen....i know the earth is a person...for example..you get these bugs that have a lifespan of less than 6 hours...our lifespan is what, say 70 years...the lifespan of earth is a couple more....my ex told me today that i was the only one that survived drinking hydrochloric acid...i told her she was wrong, cause i died, and then she wants to tell me how hell is...i was there, she says the burning part wasn't in her picture, i laughed...hell is a universe with no stars, and you are stuck there for ever, minutes are years, and you are on fire in this place, yet you are so cold without any emotion...and the first name that comes to your mind is ...don't try to figure it out

i'm just here till i do what god wants me to do..you can call it the patience of the saints...i call it a time to get drunk...

i like it here cause i don't want to be around people...my friends are everywhere, but not into people, they don't see


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