How do I get Ozz to hire me?
For several years I have been trying to get Ozz to hire me as his house keeper. I've sent numerous resumes to his fan mail address, but never to his house address (being afraid of pissing him off). I have even offered to work for free for him. I’ve even offered to pay him rent to stay with, work as his house keeper, and work for free. Every time I write… All I ever get is photograph or no response at all. All I want is some advice, tips, something on how to get my foot in the door with getting Ozz to hire me?
- comments: (37)


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OK. I was just thinking about what someone said about dressing up as a Christmas tree. The only problem with dressing up as a Christmas tree is that if by chance Ozzy fell of the wagon and got drunk, god forbid he decides to set fire to the Christmas tree. Then I'd be a flaming Ozzy's Whore!
I'm sure that if I sent myself to Ozzy in a box, one I would need a lot of money to do it, and two Ozzy would probably send me back return to sender. Or use my box with me in it for a little target practice, chasing me off his property with a shotgun. Even though, I do have his Hidden Hills address.
Sharronnnnn Help me get this thing open. I think theres something alive in the f***ing thing man...
ROFLOL!!! Keep 'em coming! He, he, he! Holly s***, someone sent me an Ozzy Whore! Priceless, man!
Imagine the surprise on his face when he opened that box.....
He would say " holly s*** Sharon someone sent me an ozzyswhore cool "
Starting to think about sending myself in a really big box. All I know is it needs to have air holes in it. To bad I'm not a shape shifter or I could change into the shape of a small child and hide out in Ozzy's trash can. Then when he say me, he would think I'm an orphan. Wishful thinking.
hey look i really dont know ,,i wish i had a magic answer for you to get your wish ,
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I know. Yet still.. HOW DO I GET OZZ TO HIRE ME? I still want to work for him.
--
"you are my only daughter,
I guess I made you twice
You look inside my other,
He'll give you bad advice
I will tell I'm OK,
But deep inside I'm afraid"
"Denial"
-Ozzy Osbourne-
wow i'd forgotten about this thread,,have to thank ya ozzy'swhore,,i just went thru and read it again and yes we are nutz
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I haven't been to this to this question in a while. All I can say is that if Ozzy ever read this, he would think we are all nuts!
--
"you are my only daughter,
I guess I made you twice
You look inside my other,
He'll give you bad advice
I will tell I'm OK,
But deep inside I'm afraid"
"Denial"
-Ozzy Osbourne-
im not into skin tight aswell but hey i'll try anything once lol and what the hell i'll were womens clothes,im fine with myself to do that lol lol
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gimpnoid
http://www.metalofoz.com/
yeah pretty much, the idea of dressing up in skin tight latex is just something that doesnt sound like somthing i'd do, so um yeah but gimpnoid there is louis osbourne so theres that option open for you and that would avoid the cross dressing
hmmmm your worried about being a latex gimp lol ,but since your idea ,you'd be jack right--so im figuring you want me to dress in womens clothing,,now who's freaky--im an ugly trog at the best of times,but wearing womens clothing lol ha ha ha
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gimpnoid
http://www.metalofoz.com/
hahaha maybe JUST maybe if we dress as Amiee kelly and Jack and just walk in?
how simple--hey that would work
try my new thread in off topic
if you want a laugh ask the gimp
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gimpnoid
http://www.metalofoz.com/
You guys bring this forum to live, thats great.
Best thread ever here. Thanks to OzzysWhore.
To get into Ozzy's house I would get in my car run over his garden fence and then just walk in to say how terribly sorry I am and that I'm not able to pay for the damage then ask for my picture taken with him.
You think that would work?
oh s#*t we'ed be asked to f#*k off quickly lol
no envelope big enuf for me lol
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gimpnoid
http://www.metalofoz.com/
u Guys are FUNNNYYYYY1!!! What about sealing yourself in envelope and psting yourself to Ozzy as a bill from Internal revenue office ....LOL
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cecilky
yeah im with you on that...hey i was thinking when ozzy throws another party,we could sneak in then...i'll be the clown,,what are you up for..or did i pick the best one again lol
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gimpnoid
http://www.metalofoz.com/
hahaha this is my favourite thread on the fourum at the moment
yes lennons daugther how would you get into the osbournes house---
no probs ozzmanfan --im hoping lennons daughter will come back to this thread,,shes funny,,oh and ozzmanfan you be cracking me up too--im enjoying this..im still laughing hard cant think of anything funny at mome--hey but i'll be back lol ha ha ha ha
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gimpnoid
http://www.metalofoz.com/
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA lennonsdaughter that was a REALLY good one XD come back to this thread more often you are awesome!!!!
and also (sorry about stealing your question Gimpnoid but how would you get into the osbournes house?)
lol thats funny--hey lennons daughter how would you get inside the osbournes house
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gimpnoid
http://www.metalofoz.com/
"I'm just a cleaner, I clean my life away"
Sorry, I couldn't resist.
You guys are too funny.
hey the singing cleaner..cooooooolllll lol
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gimpnoid
http://www.metalofoz.com/
Hmm maybe if OzzysWhore were to go outside the osbournes house with cleaning supplies and a guitar and just start singing
well ozmanfan do you have any suggestions for ozzy'swhore,,,lol
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gimpnoid
http://www.metalofoz.com/
...Ozz would prob say
"OH F**K OFF!"
hey ozzy's whore if your still really keen on getting inside ozzy's house ,,maybe get a really big box,put a nappy on ,place it at the front door,have a note written saying youve been abandoned and just maybe they might adopt you ,,,,,,lol
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gimpnoid
http://www.metalofoz.com/
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
wow a fence post cool idea lol or maybe glue parts of a christmass tree to yourself and some presents for the osbournes and sneak in under the cover of christmass,,everybody should be happy in that time of year, so you shouldnt get shot if found out lol
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gimpnoid
http://www.metalofoz.com/
Maybe paint yourself up like a fence post and plant yourself in the back yard may work, or perhaps not! lol
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Peace
Scape
Ozzy:"I have no regrets except that I wasn't up to keep Randy (Rhoads) from getting on that plane." (Ozzy Osbourne, Guitar World Issue 37, 2000)
ummm also following up from the last two comments...Looking at this from the osbournes perspective....It does look a tad strange that you are wanting to work for them for free, I am in no way implying that you are a dishonest peorson but they don't know that, there is personal sercurity to consider one again just to reiterate i am in no way implying that you are a bad person. Plus maybe Ozzy and Sharon are not needing anymore housekeepers at the moment...
Maybe Ozzy thinks it's a bit weird that you want to work for him for free just to be around him. Think about it and respect his privacy.
im no use in this matter,alls i could suggest would be stalkerish lol
but good luck with your efforts,i hope you do well
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gimpnoid
http://www.metalofoz.com/
ok....are the osbournes looking for somebody to hire?
ok....are the osbournes looking for somebody to hire?