a spot for us oldies,,only enter if you like to laugh | The Official Ozzy Osbourne Site

a spot for us oldies,,only enter if you like to laugh

ok ,,mofo wanted this,,and i dont know what we should discuss here,, colostomy bags, walking frames, false teeth, pacemakers, heart medication, retirement villages, pet chooks oops sorry, mofo's fetish ,,, ha ha ha ha ha ha

Replies

look andy i know you like a laugh ,,and so do i but,,after you submit things you can always edit ,,and yes as ive been told i dwell in the gutter but some things i do edit because there is a line ,,and i wont cross it,, so if you retract the other statement,,i will remove mine,,yes i am a gimp here and only here,,sometimes the persona we take in the net is totally different to homw lives,,and quickly read this so i can remove it as i dont want any ozznoids thinking hu hu he is not a gimp

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gimpnoid
http://www.metalofoz.com/

Sorry

Something else that I misinterperated between the ears, as I typed before I realised the final appearance on the screen!

You should know I do not aim to offend, as I just want a laugh. The only joke I am good at telling is myself!

So the Punch line should be

"Virgin on the ridiculass"

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Number 1

dont get it

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gimpnoid
http://www.metalofoz.com/

What do you call a Court Jester giving a Nun a piggy Back?

Virgin on the impossible

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Number 1

yep i wish you luck mate with that,, hey australia has fired up so we'll see if the fire is still there

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gimpnoid
http://www.metalofoz.com/

Crossing everthing here myson!

Read the Nun Jokes earlier, and not in the joke section, and the rotten so and so beat me to them! hahahaha

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Number 1

nice one ,,we'll see

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gimpnoid
http://www.metalofoz.com/

An Australian Cricket fan was walking his emu, and a Gennie appears in a puff of smoke. The Australian was then granted 1 wish!

The guy asks for his dog to win the best dog show in the world!

The Gennie looks at the dog, it had 3 legs, 1 ear, and blind.

The Gennie says I only grant wishes, NOT Miricles. He then asked the guy to make another wish!

The Guy then says, OK Let Australia win the ashes!

The Gennie then says" Lets have another look at the dog! hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

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Number 1

no mate i like your jokes,,silly me hey ha ha ha ha ha ha ha especially the seagull one ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha i told my local tip guy and he couldnt stop laughing

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gimpnoid
http://www.metalofoz.com/

I think someone is trying to call me a CULT? or possibly something else?

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Number 1

yeah cool we should call you the comedian around here

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gimpnoid
http://www.metalofoz.com/

Already hear that one, but the wording was slightly different!

Two flies on a piece of s h i t.
One fly spits
the other fly says, do you mind I am trying to eat! hahahahahahaha

How do you spot the blind fella walking past the fish mongers?
Morning ............

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Number 1

taste like what andy c'mon ,,you can tell me n 82,,no one else will see

who invented the female body--- the council ,who else would put the sewer next to a playground ha ha ha ha ha ha ha haha ha ha

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gimpnoid
http://www.metalofoz.com/

If little girls are made of sugar and spice!

How come they taste of ......................... !

Sorry this is an open site

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Number 1

What do you call a bag full of fannies?

Clitorice alsorts! hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

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Number 1

My late mother said I was trying!

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Number 1

not that fun ny mate ,,ha ha ha ha oh well

--
gimpnoid
http://www.metalofoz.com/

Two whores were walikng along the road, when a Photographer came aolng.
Photgrapher: goodevening ladies do you mind if I take your photgraph!
Ladies?: No feel free to do so
So the photographer walks away and plays with ....... his camera
The young whore to the older whore: What is he doing?
Older Whore: he's trying to Focus
Younger whore: You mean the both of us togethoer! hahahahahaha

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Number 1

good night my friend ,,catch ya

--
gimpnoid
http://www.metalofoz.com/

GOTCHA, good night from me

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Number 1

i was not being touchy again ,,just given you the facts

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gimpnoid
http://www.metalofoz.com/

From the irish Joke book:

An Airman had to bail out, and he landed battered and bruised in a field just outside belfast.

A crowd gathered around, and eventually one man said to the airman "What happened"?
The Airman replied " My parachute would not open"!

The Irishman said " ye should have known better, Nothing opens here on a Sunday" hahahahahaha

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Number 1

Touchy or what, I only relayed what I had heard that it stood for!

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Number 1

hey mate lets check out the quantas history---stands for queensland and northern territory air service and since its start it has not had a major accident,,,the safest peoples in the sky by far,,hey its even mentioned in rainman the movie ha ha ha ha ha haha ha

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gimpnoid
http://www.metalofoz.com/

What does QUANTAS stand for?

Queers
Unucks
And
Nacey Boys
Transexuals
Air
Services

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

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Number 1

now thats funny ,,so is our submarines

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gimpnoid
http://www.metalofoz.com/

I meant the olde worlde jokes! hahahahahahahahahaha

I got into trouble with this girls Father one snowy winter night!
It was over my name written in the snow with my urine outside thier house,
That was not toooooo bad in itself,
The down side was it was He reallised that it was
His daughters hand writting! hahahahahahahahahahahaha

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Number 1

are we talking about the collins class submarine,,,, no chance mate their duds

--
gimpnoid
http://www.metalofoz.com/

Do you want some more of the same?

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Number 1

well mate we have a lot of coast line to cover,,,

--
gimpnoid
http://www.metalofoz.com/

At least we still have a few left! Mind you, Your navy may be biger than ours! hahahahahahahahahaha

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Number 1

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
did you here about the english submarine ,,it sank

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gimpnoid
http://www.metalofoz.com/

Did you hear how the Aussie ripped of the state railways?
He bought a return tickets, and never used it! hahahahahahahahahahaha

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Number 1

A Bloke goes into a Brothel, and asks the madam "How much for Humiliation"?
The Madam tells him that will be £50
The Bloke asked what does he get for the £50
The Madam replies " A flipping Australian Ashes Shirt"! hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

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Number 1

The Worlds shortest fairy tale
Once upon a time
a guy asked a girl to marry him!
She said no
the guy lived happily ever afterwards, he rode motorbikes,went to the footy (BCFC), went fishing, played lots of golf and cricket, went to the horse races, the casino, drank lots of Scotch Whisky and beer, Left the toilet seat up, passed wind, and spanked the monkey, when ever he wanted to . and had his wicked way with every woman who moved ...... The END

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Number 1

A charter plane with 56 paasengers and crew crashed in an Irish cemetary.
They have recovered 288 bodies so far.

Sorry, this one was sent to my mobile(cell)

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Number 1

Why is Sperm White and Urine yellow?
It is so that the thick know if they are cuming or going! hahahaha

Anyway I will let you off JUST this once Bruce Gimpnoid hahahahahahahahahahaha

Two elephants walking along the naturist beach and saw a bloke.
The one elephant turn to the other one and said
How does he breath through that?

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Number 1

how many englishmen does it take to change a light buld,,,100 - one to hold the light buld and 99 to turn the house ha ha ha haha ha just thought i'd say that in light of the cricket,,oh well

--
gimpnoid
http://www.metalofoz.com/

A couple of non pc jokes

Paddy and Murphy walikng down the road
Paddy says to Murphy "If you can guess how many chickens that i have in this bag, .... you can have them both"

Paddy and Murpthy walikng along a road, and paddy falles down an open manhole.
Murphy looks down and asks Paddy If he is all right
Paddy Shouts up, I do not know, but call me an ambulance
Murphy asks Paddy if he is sure
Paddy shouts back " Call me an Ambulance"
Murphy then stars shouting" Paddy is an Ambulance, paddy is an Ambulance" hahahahaha

Sorry to my fellow Oznoids eminating from the Emerald Isle, BUT they are old jokes! besides my Irish friend laught at them, and he is a Kerryman!

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Number 1

I saw a T shirt today it read "ipooped". Well, I thought that it was funny! hahahahahahaha

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Number 1

thats my daily thing ,,ha ha ha ha ha youve been looking in my window again ha ha ha ha ah ha ha ha

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gimpnoid
http://www.metalofoz.com/

somebody needs a spanking...gimp your a bad boy, now go into the bathroom and whip yourself too. ha ha ha ha. don't look at me I only do chooks... lol

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I'm in here Oz-noids :-)
www.myspace.com/erandbr

dont clap just throw money--- ha ha ha yep bad boy gimpy--- on that note has anyone in ozzland seen a aussie cult classic movie ,bad boy bubby-- bad boy bubby's music at the end really kicks it,, put up with most of the movie just for that,,,poor bubby had a hard life ha ha ha ha find it if you dare

--
gimpnoid
http://www.metalofoz.com/

Gimp, you bad boy!

well since ive been flagged i cant put what i want to say mofo--im going to try to fly under their radar for a bit,,, maybe i should of said in the other thread,, sexually challeneged chooks ha ha ha ha.. yep ive said worse than that,

--
gimpnoid
http://www.metalofoz.com/

Did you say he disappeared where you poop? lol

--
I'm in here Oz-noids :-)
www.myspace.com/erandbr

hey mofo is it toothpaste----,,over here we have a lollie called mentos,,,and since it first came out,i just couldnt eat them,,cant seem to put mentos in my mouth,,and cecilky thats funny,,but i think its old--good spot for it--
hey mofo what happened to the gay magician--he disappeared with i poof

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gimpnoid
http://www.metalofoz.com/

ha ha ha good one cecilky ..here is your ben gay cream gimp.

http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b32/spiffywonderboy/5709/bengay.gif

--
I'm in here Oz-noids :-)
www.myspace.com/erandbr

Why did the octopus laugh?............................
The Seaweed. LOL

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cecilky

but who is ben gay,,and with a name like that he must be ( not that theres anything wrong with that )

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gimpnoid
http://www.metalofoz.com/