Funny Jokes
Replies for this Forum Topic
Tuesday, July 28, 2009 - 13:01
here is one I nicked out of the paper and converted it for you ALL:
Andy: Operator I want an Ambualnce
Operator: What is wrong caller
Andy: She Who will remain nameless is dead, i shot her!
Operator: Are You sure caller, please check
Andy: Ok I will double check .......... BANG, Yes Operator she is dead!
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Number 1
Friday, July 24, 2009 - 14:38
A QUANTAS plane was in trouble!
"MAy day, Mayday" the Pilot radioed!
The Tower responded that they had cleared the stack, and the runway. Then Air Traffic Control asked the Pilot
"Can you give us your height, and position"
The pilot responded " Well, I'm 5'3" and I 'm sitting in the front of the plane"! Hahahahahahahahahahaha
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Number 1
Wednesday, July 22, 2009 - 12:56
A Brit goes to the Blue Mountainsand finds a small township. He said to the Police Officer " My this is a quiet place!
The Police Officer replied "Yes Sir it is a really quiet place, We have not burried a living soul for years"! hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
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Number 1
Tuesday, July 21, 2009 - 13:27
Lindsay and Patrisha are walking down the Reaper Bahn/Gross Farenhiet in Hamburg, Germany. Patrisha decides to go into a SEX SHOP, so Lindsay follows.
Patrisha: Shop owner I want to buy a big dildo!
Lindsay: Are you sure Patrisha
Patrisha: Sure I am, it is the only way I am likely to get it these days!
Lindsay: OK if you are sure then let the man show you his selection.
Shop Owner: Well Madam, I take it that you and your special friend will like this selection.
The Shop Keeper arranges a selection on the counter for the girls to choose from. Patrisha works her way along the selection from small to large, and on each occasion she exclaimed "This one is Tooooooooooooooo small"
Shop Owner: BUT the 18" (500 mm) is the largest one that we have, and I am surprised that you think that it is small!
Patrishia: Shop owner I want that BIG RED one on the wall!
Shop Owner: I am sorry madam, but you can not have that, it is not for sale!
Patrisha: But Shop owner I demand that you sell it me!
Shop Owner: No madam, I am truley sorry, BUT you can not have it!
Patrisha: NO SHOP OWNER I really demand you sell me that Big Red one!
Shop Owner: Madam I can not sell you that BIG RED item, as it is a FIRE EXTINGUISHER! hahahahahahaha
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Number 1
Monday, July 20, 2009 - 16:36
Lindsay and Patrisha were walking down the street
Patrisha: I think that I want bigger boobs!
Lindsay: Are you Sure, that you want bigger boobs?
Patrisha: Of course I do, do How can I do it?
Lindsay: Have you tried rubbing Toilet Paper (tissue) on your breasts?
Patrisha: What do you mean rubbing Toilet Paper on my breasts?
Lindsay: Well, it must work!
Patrisha: How do you mean it must work
Lindsay: Well, it must work, as your Arse is huge!
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
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Number 1
Thursday, July 16, 2009 - 15:39
I went for a drink with a friend. He thinks that he is god's gift to women, (even though he has no chance). Anyway we are at the bar drinking and chatting. THEN a drop dead gorgeous woman, walks in with curves in al the right places, long blond hair with blue eyes, that were that deep, you could drown in them! She looks around the bar, and my mate says he reckons he has a chance!
Eventually the woman comes to the bar where we are, and askes where the Ladies (bathroom) was. My friend said right over there, in a aleged sexy voice!
A while latter, the woman comes out, and makes her way over to where we are. My mate still reckons that he has a chance! The woman sidles over to us, and right up to my mate who had a beaming smile. My mate starts to chuckle quietly. When the woman faces my mate, and then starts to stroke his beard. My mate starts to really smile. Then the woman says "My man, please tell the landlord that there is NO paper in the ladies", and then walks out! hahahahahahahaha
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Number 1
Wednesday, July 15, 2009 - 00:29
the was a man from the usa
who had a pigbeast that was g a y
he rented it to a man from wales
who hammered it like nails
and the guy from the usa
he didint get any rent or pay
so he hunted him with a gun
becaus he wasnt gettin none
OF THE PIGBEAST THAT IS
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gimpnoid
http://www.metalofoz.com/
Wednesday, July 8, 2009 - 05:22
She was only the Cornels daughter, but she knew what Reggie Meant
She was only the fishmongers daughter, She would lay it on the slab and a Fillet
She was only the Grave Diggers daughter, but would lay under any old sod
She was only the Pilots daughter, and kept her c**kpit clean
She was only the chicken farmers daughter but knew how to pullit
She was only ..................... no this is getting very silly!
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Number 1
Tuesday, July 7, 2009 - 05:21
why did i cross the road,,,-- to get to the vagina ha ha ha ha
why did the pigbeast cross the road---- i dont know 82 has the answer for that
how many gimps does it take to change a light buld,,none the sun will come up soon,,,
how many 82's does it take to change a light bulb--- none the bar staff will do it
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gimpnoid
http://www.metalofoz.com/
if anyone has any funny jokes that they want to share, here is the place to share them!! lol